Success

Success

Success is an interesting concept

We all have different views and different experiences that alter they way we measure it .

My idea of success before autism entered our lives was very different than it is now

Me and my boyfriend , now husband were in love, we had two children a curious , adorable three year old boy and our beautiful baby girl .

We were beginning our lives , he was working and I was in school on the path to becoming a Kindergarten teacher . We were saving and looking to purchase a home for our little family .

I remember thinking how lucky I was . A son and a daughter ,a beautiful life and an amazing partner to share it with . We were motivated and working hard trying to build a life for ourselves and our children .

We had so many plans

So many ideas of “success “

We would buy a big house

Have a big family

Our kids would do it all

Soccer , hockey , dance , plays , cheerleading ~All of it

They would be friends and hang out with each other and their friends would all be hanging at our house . Our son would chase all the boys away . We would have the house all the kids hung out at .

They would have every opportunity and every experience . They would grow up go to college and find careers and have families of their own . I would obviously be babysitting the grandchildren

Autism showed up and most of those plans went out the window . For all of us because it effects every single one of us

Even though my son is nuerotypical he does not get through this unscathed and without loss .

It impacted my daughter the most . The plans for her were turned upside down and inside out . She was diagnosed with Autism and it changed everything. Every dream, every plan , every success

She has autism , sensory processing , anxiety , apraxia and Is non verbal .

She still is my beautiful little girl . I love her with every fiber of my being . Her smile and laughter warm my heart .

In the beginning I was waiting for her to catch up , to talk , to be able to live a typical life . It took time to adjust

I needed to alter my expectations as my reality changed

I now measure success differently, not as a whole but in pieces .

It’s all the steps that come along the way that matter

Success is my daughter dancing on a stage

It is her saying I love you , mama or cookie

It is her making a smooth transition
Or adjusting to something new with ease

It her giving a hug and her squeezing back

It is her laughing and smiling with her siblings

Her being able to wear a mask , dress herself , and find her shoes when asked

To some these are very basic things

Things that are not given a second thought

To us they are everything

When you have a child whose voice you may never hear , who may not understand others , is not expected to engage or function in society

When they have to work twice as hard as anyone else for everything they do

THIS IS SUCCESS !

Yes our dreams and ideas have changed but I couldn’t be prouder of my daughter and how far she has come .

She is a true inspiration

She is a fighter , she has fought for every skill , every word , every connection she has ever made .

She is loved and cherished

She has a pure heart , loves and laughs and is happy

That is what success is

It is only something that can be truly measured from the inside