Alyssa began early intervention at 22 months . This was just 5 months prior to her diagnosis .
Most of the time she was only in a diaper if even that. Her sensory system was out of control .
We were about to enter a world that we had no idea about ; no idea how to navigate , or the difficult road that lay ahead . There was very little awareness then and it seemed almost no girls with autism .
I was still living in the bubble of thinking that she has some sort of speech delay and sensory intergration , now know as sensory processing disorder , which explained many of her tantrums and avoidance behaviors .
I had no clue to the world we were being thrown into . No idea about the heart break and the devastation that was about to come , the life long struggles she was going to face . Here I thought she was going to learn to talk and get some therapies and everything would be just fine .
Never in a million years did I look at her face and imagine the severity of the situation. With an autism diagnosis you get this period of time that you are in the dark … You have no idea what’s coming and I’m not sure if that’s a positive or a negative . It allows you to have hopes and dreams for your child to then have them ripped away and crushed .
At the same time you have this bubble where things are seemingly typical and you get to have the feeling of normalcy .
When I look at these pictures that seem like a life time ago , I know these were the beginning of the most difficult times . There were some very dark days coming some had probably already started , but when I look at these pictures I see my beautiful little girl . She was so funny and cute ! She loved her brother so much ! ( when she wasn’t attacking him, poor kid ~ but he adored her too )
I don’t see the pain , the frustration and the confusion that I know over took many of these days . I can’t help but to wonder if there was more awareness then if things would of been different . Either way underneath it all she was our little girl full of mischief , stubborn as could be , and beautiful . We loved with all our heart and of course still do.