Decorate

The rigidity is so hard . Sometimes I think it’s the hardest part but I feel like I say that about everything.

The screaming , the need to control everything in house is so much sometimes .

I can’t let her have her way everytime . But the screaming and the crying , the throwing herself down . All over moving a few totes . She is irate . I am trying to make room for the tree :

She isn’t going to allow me to decorate the house . This just sucks !

How do I choose over her peace and my joy , and the joy of the other kids?

I know she can’t help it

Do I do it anyways ? See if we can ride it out , if she will get over it ?

If she is miserable there will be no joy , that’s for sure.

It’s so frustrating and it makes me sad .

This is not a concession I want to make .

I make so many already .

I know it’s not the end of the world , but I give up so much already . And normally I don’t care , her happiness is more important . It’s more important then having the typical things . It’s usually just a little pang I can brush off .

But I want to get a tree and decorate the house . Nothing crazy putting some stuff up on the walls, hang some lights .

She never minded these things before , but she is so much more rigid and controlling about stuff . She hates anything moved , anything that doesn’t belong where she thinks it should be . You can’t reason with her , especially when she’s like this .

I need this is helps my mental health so much .

I hate seeing her so upset though .

It’s a slippery slope to always avoid her triggers

I know once we get through the hard stuff she will enjoy decorating the tree , she loves that . It’s just getting through the hard so we can experience the joy together