Autism and discipline is a sticky situation.
Are all behaviors due to autism? No of course not.
Is it easy to recognize the difference, No it is nearly impossible.
It’s a very fine line.
A therapist one told me after I said she can’t help it she has autism, she replied no she is three. Not everything is autism. I scoffed and inwardly rolled my eyes. What did she know? The last therapist suggested I let my daughter continue to bang her head and ignore her, that she would stop on her own.
Well not with a kid who didn’t feel or process pain.
It’s a hard balance. In hindsight I should of been a little more open minded. I may of created a monster or at the very least a queen.
It is so difficult when you have a child with no speech and limited understanding. Who becomes very overwhelmed and over stimulated.
You have to create limits but you also have to pick your battles.
We go out of our way to keep her happy and avoid her triggers. It is not always possible and she has to learn that sometimes things can’t go her way.
It hard to see her get so upset,especially when it’s hard to talk it through.
Sometimes she gets upset over the littlest things. Her anxiety grips a hold of her and the whole house too.
I want to keep her as happy as possible, because things are already so hard for her. I also want to keep the peace so to speak.
I think our children need compassion, understanding and empathy. It appears that they just want their way but they have such a hard time regulating their emotions.
They are smart though and manipulative they learn fast what works.
You have to pick your battles. You have to decide what is most important and start there.
Physical safety is most important to me. I do not tolerate her hurting herself or others ( There are times when you don’t have a choice obviously and need some outside help)
We try to instill respect for peoples things and their personal space ( it’s a work in progress )
We teach apologizing and never withhold love no matter what.
I have boundaries for her and others and it’s always something that can be improved on.
It also depends on how much they understand and are aware of.
We do a lot of ignoring as long as she is safe.
I also give her a lot of choices. And lots of chances.
Most times I give in because her smile melts my heart .
I am not perfect, I yell way more than I should and sometimes I lose my patience. I try really hard to be calm and patient.
Discipline in not punishment it is teaching. Limits and boundaries are important and needed.
All I know is I love this girl with my whole heart and I try my best to make her happy, while teaching her to make the best choices she is capable of.
She is lovable, sweet and had a beautiful heart, she shows remorse and tries to please us as much as she can.
All in all she is a great girl and is willing to put the work in as much as she can.