Autism mornings

Someday are just tougher than others ! Mornings are by far the most difficult transition for Alyssa. Somedays she screams the whole time fighting me every step of the way , and others she is happy and cooperative . Most times it’s actually a cross between the two .

She can get set off by multiple things or be perfectly fine . Today is swim day which she loves . What she doesn’t love is anything different being put into her bag .

I have to send a swimsuit and a towel which she just hates. I try to sneak it as much a possible but she has her spidey sense and you can’t get much by her . It’s so sad because she has this internal struggle where she knows she needs the bathing suit and towel but doesn’t want it in her bag . She can be so rigid and this is one of the things she is most rigid about . It’s so hard to get through to her when she’s like this . She’s throwing everything storming around screaming . The van of course is minutes from arriving . I bought her a cute little draw string bag with fish on it , thinking that would help . I tried giving that bag separate and she entertained that for a minute lol . She finally relented .

My phone then rings and I guess I didn’t here the van beep ~ I wonder why .
The van ….. Now for some reason they just switched her driver who she has had all year . He is an older guy and he is so nice . He is so sweet and patient , and he loves Alyssa . Well today was a different vehicle and different driver from yesterday . Kinda sort of complaining to me because he was there for ten minutes . Guy you have no idea what I’ve just been dealing with. He goes on to say how don’t worry she’s with the same kids . Well there was a boy on her route who is high functioning ( not sure if he as autism or not ) he always looks out for her. If it’s a sub driver he will tell them her routine , it’s so cute. He is not on the route he is on another route. So it’s not all the same kids .

I now come in the house upset . I know it’s fine and stupid to be upset about . I am fighting tears . I call my husband big mistake ~ now the tears come . He can’t even understand me . He’s like what’s wrong and I’m all like I want her driver back and he says that’s why your crying ?? Yes you ass that’s why I’m crying . I know it’s irrational its just hard sometimes . It’s like as far as you come and she is doing so amazing and I am so grateful, but it’s still just a lot sometimes .
I am being ridiculous I know .
It’s just the last thing to push me over the edge .




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