As a mom of four I am proud of many things, more trivial things than triumphs

The big accomplishments are great don’t get me wrong but many of these things while exciting at the time fade quickly into the background.

Pride is an interesting emotion. I think in those you love you find pride in the inner beauty and the way their spirit shines through.

I am the most proud of my children. I know their lives haven’t been the easiest. Each of their roles are different.

Growing up in a busy household filled with love and laughter , but with the unpredictable chaos that autism can bring in an instant was not easy. It was Ever changing and they were constantly going through the ups and downs that this life can bring. I know that living this life beside their sister made them stronger and more empathetic people. It doesn’t however come without its struggles, challenges, and trauma.

There was Lots of adversity to overcome at different times. Yet they never hold it against her or resent her for it. They love her always no matter what.. To see them advocate for her and make sure she is included. That makes me proud.

To know that they are loving caring individuals learning to navigate through their lives but never leaving her behind.

To see my daughter get up on a long day after school, swim and dance and get up and make sure Alyssa is fed. To see her come in with a cake pop just to make her sister happy makes me proud.

They are far from perfect and drive me completely bonkers but they are perfect for me.

As parents we are constantly second guessing. I am filled with so much guilt, always feeling like I couldn’t give everyone what they needed, What they deserved, and what I wanted to give them.

This life of parenting a child with a disability pulls you in so many different directions. It is damn near impossible to get it right on all ends. When I look at my kids I see well adjusted happy humans. I know we did something right and I am damn proud of that.

When I look at my husband and how he interacts with our children, and although patience isn’t always a virtue they all look up to him. He makes them all feel safe, secured and loved. I couldn’t be more proud of the father he is.

My Alyssa, my sweet girl, the one who was dealt the tough hand. The one who had to take the road less traveled. The one who has the odds stacked against her.

This girl works so hard everyday to exist in a world that is not easy for her. It is overwhelming and confusing,and hard for her to understand. It places demands that don’t make sense to her.

She has to work for every single word, every single sound she makes. You can see how much effort it takes her. It simultaneously makes my heart ache and burst with pride.

When she hugs me and squeezes me and I feel the love she can’t always express I fill up with pride. That is a barrier that was only recently broken.

This girl wakes up with a smile everyday. She lights up my life with her pure joy. Her laughter fills my heart like nothing else.

I am the most proud of her. Even though there are aspects of her life that are difficult, she perseveres.

She is happy, loving and the sweetest soul you will ever meet.

It’s the simple things in life that I take pride in and mean the most to me.

fcvblogsquad #proud #autism