Things with autism are never simple
There is no last minute impromt trips that are met without resistance, Meltdowns and at least a few tears …
Sometimes you wonder if it’s even worth it .
We are taking a day trip to Martha’s Vineyard , mostly because my sister is there with my niece and my 16 year old daughter . I am venturing down for the day so my other daughter ( Kierra ) can join them for a few days .
Me , Alyssa and Kierra will drive down the cape , park the car take a shuttle to the ferry and board the ferry . It’s sounds
So simple doesn’t it ?
Again with autism and anxiety always looming in the background things are never easy .
Alyssa does pretty well out and about . She has come a long way . I would never even dreamed of attempting this a few years ago without my husband . When she was younger it was all hands on deck all of the time . It was always plan b and c , divide and conquer if necessary, always have a back up plan and an exit strategy.
When we made the plan I thought sure she will enjoy getting out for the day , she spends too much time in the house I should get her out . She generally enjoys being out.
She had adapted and learned and really had come such a long way . Until
Something upsets her , confuses her or triggers her .
It is almost impossible to predict
So you try to plan and prepare but sometimes it doesn’t make a difference
And sometimes you decide to wing it
We were getting ready to leave rushing of course , running late and my daughter was looking for something to put her stuff in . I told her I have a backpack in my room she could take that.
Alyssa decided that she did not want the bag to leave my room and she started protesting AKA yelling
I told my daughter wait until we get in the car run back in the house throw her stuff in the backpack and bring it out after
I though it went without saying don’t let her see it . It didn’t, Kierra comes out with the bag in her hand . Alyssa started screaming
And gesturing to the house
Non verbal does not mean no communication her point is loud and clear the bag goes back in the house , she then got out of the car prompt dependency out the window. She was going to grab the bag her self . I told Kierra to bring the bag back in the house and I would go get it , hide it and put in the back of the car .
I tried backing the car in the driveway but she’s too smart she knows I’m up to something and I park and open the back bit of course it won’t open . She gets out and inspects the back . She is on high alert and there is no way to sneak the bag at this point .
Again never simple
I switch tactics show her the bag and tell her we are bringing it . She begins to escalate, I tell her she can stay home I am taking the bag and leaving ~ not my finest moment I’ll admit . She continues to gesture to my room while getting more frustrated . I tell her Kiki needs the bag .
I show her what’s in it .
I tell her you can carry it and put in the car
That seems to help except she takes the bag and throws it twice . And I’m
Not sure if my daughters lap top is in it .
I tell her no and go to the grab the bag , she takes it and puts it in the car .
This is by no means the worst meltdown we have had or even a big deal in the grand scheme of things . It’s just added stress added frustration and extra time and steps that need to be taken .
It can be exhausting though . For us and for her . I am already questioning my decision to venture out alone . I will be traveling back ferry and shuttle alone just me and her .
I don’t know if she will understand that the girls and backpack are staying .
The shuttle ran late and missed the ferry
The next one is a freight ferry with limited passengers , I don’t know what that means but we are getting on .
I know I am blessed I am with two Of my beautiful daughters on a beautiful day , headed the the vineyard . I just wished things could be simple sometimes .
I am already getting anxiety about the return trip . But we are on route too late for doubts now .