Dance girl

When Alyssa was born I was so happy to have a beautiful, chunky baby girl. I remember looking down at her and I couldn’t wait to dress her up in the cutest outfit, with matching headbands of course.

She was such a happy , easy going baby. I envisioned putting her in dance and watching her up on stage. My son would play hockey or maybe soccer and they would cheer each other on.
I would be the mom driving all the kids around. Their friends would always be over our house .

These things weren’t possible because of autism. One word and it turned our whole life upside down. A word I didn’t even fully understand. It was like everything came to a stand still including our life.

My little girl with her big curls and beautiful eyes , unable to communicate or understand the world around her. She could be happy one minute and angry the next. Underneath all the challenges and behaviors she had a fiery spirit and infectious smile.

We began to settle into autism. It became a normal part of our life.

As she got older she began to calm down and behaviors began to decrease

She able to attend her younger sister’s dance recital every year, We try to
to do things as a family whenever possible.

She tolerated them at first and then began to enjoy them.

I never once imagined she would be able to perform on a stage. I would have laughed if it were suggested. Her life is just different . Anxiety and resistant to change or anything unfamiliar hinders everything.

Alyssa’s school added zumba as part of their fitness program. She participated and enjoyed it. She is pretty good at imitating. She would sometimes imitate her sister practicing her dances ,it was pretty cute .

I wanted to get Alyssa involved in things but a lot of special needs activities were not her level of special needs . People have a hard time and do not know how to interact with someone who is non verbal . Her anxiety alone makes it very difficult .

A dance studio about 30 minutes from here offers an adaptive dance class for special needs.

I thought about enrolling her but I put it it on the back burner

I saw it again and considered it but it is so hard for her so follow along especially with verbal commands. Expectations could be tricky. I thought about again but we missed the start date.
Would she even like it or participate ? Our life is already so busy and chaotic

I was unsure , a little nervous , but i needed to get her out and away from the ipad.
They recommend you bring a support person to class. Her teenage sister is a dancer ,and Alyssa’s favorite person~ perfect

I decided to try. She loved it , and she did great . The teachers are wonderful an OT and a special education teacher. They love Alyssa and give her so much praise , which she loves.

Their class is invited to participate in the recital .

So exciting !

I don’t know if she will participate but we will certainly try .

Classes switched to zoom in March and ended in May. They had one rehearsal and zoom class last week which we missed to learn the finale dance.

The show had to be modified due to covid and they were performing outside under a tent

So many changes ;
Outside instead of inside
In front of an audience
No teachers on the stage
So many variables

She had to wear a bandana as part of her outfit , we used it as a scrunchie , she was not happy about it but tolerated it . It sounds simple but it’s no small feat .

Her whole class did awesome . It was heart warming

She did so amazing ! I couldn’t be more proud of her . I thought my heart was going to explode .I had tears pouring down my face,

The thing is as happy as I was I felt like my heart was breaking at the same time , which made me mad at myself which made me cry more .

The emotions sneak up on you at the worst times


Thankfully they did two dances , I was able to push those feelings back down where they belong and pull it together for the finale
The theme for the recital was Dream Believe Achieve – How fitting

She looked so happy and confident her smile lit up the whole stage

Also The Finale song

I wont give up
I wont give in
Till I reach the end

Sometimes it feels like the universe is talking to you

If autism had a theme song this would be it.

Keep hoping
Keep trying
Keep Believing

There is beauty and joy amidst the difficulties and the sadness


*I don’t own the rights to this song

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s