Unraveled

Alyssa is acting out . She seems to do back and forth during this pandemic . She has made some really great gains and other days she has some regressions .

Yesterday aggressions like I haven’t seen in a long time .
I know what triggered it .
She hates anything moved .
Sometimes she tolerates things ok and other times not .

My husband was repainting the hallway . He has a wall to finish and we have a cabinet there that has mostly food ; cereal , snacks , pasta ect . My daughter was clearing it off and putting it in a tote so we could move the shelf.
Alyssa was in the other room on
her IPad . ( she is usually ok as long as she doesn’t see it )

Well she came out of the room and was not happy . She had a fit was yelling and kicked the tote several times . She threw herself on the floor , was just completely unraveling . I could just sense the it coming .

She lost it . She lunged at her sister and grabbed her and pushed her .

She was throwing stuff and stomping on it .

She was unraveling like I haven’t seen in a long time . The only thing is now she is able to bounce back somewhat where before it would go on for hours .

She knows she is doing the wrong thing, she hugged her sister and said sorry. She hugged me and was crying . She can’t help it even though she knows it’s wrong .

This is the part if autism that wears you down . Even though the episodes are few and far between it brings me right back .

This was our life for years.

It is a hard life .

It is not all cuteness and quirky interests .

It affects every single family member in the house .

She has come leaps and bounds but is still held prisoner by her rigidity. This pandemic is not helping . Her lack of sleep is not helping .

Her bruised knees are not helping

This is the hard part .

Autism is forever

It gets better but you
Never know when it will rear its ugly head .

Most of the time she is sweet as pie , happy , her life is simple . She has another side too , that she just can’t control .

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