What goes up must come down

It’s been a rough few days 😟 I have seen an unusual high spike in behaviors . Alyssa has been lashing out Throwing herself on the floor , screaming , she has even been showing some aggression which it pretty rare for her . It is so frustrating ; I hate seeing her so upset I try to be patient and calm as possible -I try to help her work through it . It is so difficult when she can’t tell you if something is wrong . Is she sick ? Hurt ? im pain ? I tried to use her talker to help her tell me . She will just hit upset and then sad

. She threw an cup of soda across the kitchen and then was hysterical when soda spilled everywhere. She tried to grab stuff out if my hands , tried grabbing my arms , was standing on chairs , these behaviors are unlike her . I used to see these behaviors all the time . I hate when I can’t figure out what’s wrong and help her .

She would calm down but the littlest thing would set her off . She lashes out and then gets upset that she is misbehaving . This morning was a horror show , I honestly didn’t think I would get her out the door . She was screaming crying putting her leg on me , refusing to get dressed . Completely out of control and I was at my last shred of patience . Thankfully the van was late otherwise she would of never been ready in time .

This use to be my everyday . This was the normal . These behaviors trigger me and then they worry me . I hate not knowing what’s going on . It’s almost harder dealing with it now . She is so happy now and in control of herself ( most of the time) She did hit sorry on her talker , independently . It’s just even when you think the autism is under control . It’s always looming , lurking almost like a threat . Do not put your guard down ~ I know that’s a little dramatic , but today I cried , I contemplated calling out if work , I was left with the reality that as far as she has come , it can turn around at anytime , for any reason . It’s just a seemingly never ending cycle of defeats , triumphs and plateaus .



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